Damn you Facebook!
I hate Facebook. It has a sly and cunning way of budging into my online routine at the most inconvenient times. Intruding my positive thoughts, the social media site takes the liberty of feeding me uninvited memories from past relationships. This is not nostalgia, it’s bad taste. If I do not request to be escorted harshly down memory lane, please do not drag me!
In these moments, I desperately want to undo the software update that permitted my Facebook app to exhume my old posts and photos that seem to only serve as a reminder of just how naive and immature I once was.
Snatched between wanting to pretend these memories do not exist and the desire to force myself into self reflection by reliving my past actions, I stare at the old me and accept the gut punch delivered by the reality that if misused, social media provides us with the perfect platform to make a complete ass of ourselves.
Focusing on relationships and social media, I began to ask myself, “To what extent does social media negatively influence relationships?”
If you’re not conscious, social media can ruin your relationship. But it doesn’t have to.
Obsession
At the rise of the social media craze, I was one of its willing victims. One day, my ex looked me in my eyes and told me that my phone was ruining our relationship. My electronics never left my hand. I was either trolling, posting, or trying to “capture the moment.” I imagine now that I was nothing more than a physical body. I was never present.
It wasn’t until years later when I found myself sitting across a new beau and fellow social media addict, that I realized how sad life is when you minimize the value of human interaction for the falsities of what is seen on social media.
Facebook and other social media sites make it easy for us to disconnect from the people who matter most. Being consumed with social media causes you to sacrifice opportunities to stay engaged with your significant other.
Validation
The only thing worse than being obsessed with social media is using it as a measurement to gauge the validity of your relationship. This is a result of insecurity.
We base how serious someone is about a relationship on his or her willingness to change their relationship status, upload photos, or draft status updates about their commitment to the union on Facebook. This is a backwards way of thinking. Social media cannot validate your relationship. The manner in which your partner conducts himself/herself on and off of social media does. If your relationship is farce, no amount of social media promotion will change that.
Attention
Notifications do wonders for the ego. As superficial as it may be, social media is a free marketplace for each of us to shop for attention. We are a culture of people who have programmed ourselves to believe that sharing our most intimate experiences and thoughts is not correlated with our need for attention, but the reality is, any person who participates in the circus act of social media posting is looking for attention. It doesn’t take much to get swallowed up in that world.
Don’t allow your personal relationship to be a source of entertainment for the world. It’s fine to share your happiness, accomplishments, engagements, and life celebrations with your family and friends, but make sure that you and your significant other maintain control over how much you allow social media inside of your relationship.
“Good Lawd”
I didn’t even realize how many unfairly attractive people there are in the world until social media. “Good Lawd…” enters my mind at least once a day as I am rummaging through photos of people I come across in the cyber world.
Social media is a constant, nagging reminder that there are really, “more fish in the sea.”
Social media has deepened the dating pool. It goes down in the DM and because of that, relationships are much more susceptible to temptation. While accessibility to more people is not the root of cheating or a justification, it can be a contributing factor, especially if there is a lustful individual in the relationship.
Dirty Laundry
The *grabs popcorn* memes were created specifically for that publicly dysfunctional couple that we all know. Lacking shame, these individuals turn Facebook into the set of their own reality TV show. Consumed with chaos, we all know these two will never really leave each other, but every time the funk hits the fan, we tune in. Overpowered by their emotions, these two allow the world to be spectators to their drama free of charge.
Facebook is not a diary. If you know that you have a tendency to be overly revealing and emotional during times when there may be some discourse in your home, train yourself to log out of social media or delete the mobile apps when you know you are angry. This will prevent you from bashing your mate or allowing others to be amused by your random acts of foolishness.
There is no way around the evolving dependency that society places on technology. However, we do not have invite social media to be the third wheel of relationships. All love triangles end badly. Keep your relationship sacred.
