Keeping it 140 w/ Kyra

Welcome to Keeping it 140. I’m Kyra Kyles, a Senior Editor at JET who moonlights as a social media stalker, tracking the good, bad and ugly of online sharing. I’ll mostly be taking celebs and public figures to task for gaffes on the Interwebs (I see you, 50 Cent and Chris Brown.)  But I’ll also offer advice on how we civilians can keep it together on sites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and… um… MySpace, that is, if you’re still lurking around on the latter outlet.
____________________________________________________________

Rivers Runs Through It

I understand she’s a comedian.  I know she likes to push the envelope. But seriously, Joan Rivers needs to get some tact.  I get Chris Rock saying that we have to give our funnymen and women license, but when is it cool to mock someone who was on the receiving end of domestic abuse?  This silly missive she sent about Rihanna’s emotional interview with Oprah is ridiculous, no matter how you look at it.

Rihanna confessed to Oprah Winfrey that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her.

— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) August 24, 2012

I’m just glad Ri Ri is quick with the snaps…telling the so-called fashion police captain to “slap on some diapers.”  Yeah, Joan, you’ve been served.

Misdemeanor? 

Finally, some good news delivered by social media.  Frequent collabo king, Timbaland, let fans know that Missy “Hee Hee Hee How” Elliott will be dropping two singles over Labor Day weekend.  Comeback, be damned.  Elliott is the truth.  I’m dancing already.

oh snapp yall my sista @MissyElliott is droppin her singles #9thinning and #triplethreat labor day weekend. watch it world we backk!!!

— Timbaland (@Timbaland) August 25, 2012

Hack en Sack

An…um…fan of Bow Wow’s reportedly took over the rapper’s Twitter, told tales of his romantic dalliances and demanded $10K and a follow-back over the weekend.  Celebrities everywhere should be shook, Mobb Deep style.  Y’all better stop DMing these groupies, especially if you have tech-savvy stans on deck.

Crip Keeper

I am a card-carrying member of the media and even I agree the questions about Serena Williams’ victory dance needs to stop.  It was cute.  It was funny.  (See meme below.) And she beat some tail during the 2012 Olympics and can do any dance she wants to, including the Pocket Knife from an old “Martin” episode followed by the West Side Perculator.  If you honestly believe these playful moves were a postcard to gang culture, I feel sorry for  you and hope Serena bear trap snaps on you as hard as she did on these annoying reporters.

Dress Down

It is a little too soon for Kimmy Cakes to be trying on anything that looks like a wedding dress.  And while we’re at it, let’s just say she should call Labor Day early and leave “white” out of her wardrobe altogether to avoid any confusion.  This child would wither and die if she didn’t get attention.  Good thing she knows how to get it.

And now that we’re done with the celeb shenanigans, here’s food for thought for us online interaction addicts.  Keep checking out my advice and earn your social media master’s.

Tip #1: Vague Threats

You literally come across as “Watch the Throne”-level cray when you threaten unnamed individuals using Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest…take your pick.  If you’re angry a someone and want to let them know about themselves, do it the old-fashioned way: pick up the phone.  Or punch a pillow.  Whichever is least likely to lead to some time in a holding tank.  As you know, these tactics don’t work for celebs either.  So, yeah, just stop.

Your turn: Have you seen a pop figure wilding out on social media?  Or do you have a question about online etiquette? Hit me up here or follow me at @thekylesfiles to interact. We do this every Friday so come on back every week.  ‘Till then, keep it 140.